*Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.
*Your orgasms are real. Always.
*Your last name stays put.
*The garage is all yours.
*Nobody secretly wonders if you swallow.
*Wedding plans take care of themselves.
*You don't have to curl up next to a hairy ass every night (ex wives don't count).
*Chocolate is just another snack.
*You can be president.
*You can wear a white shirt to a water park.
*Foreplay is optional.
*You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.
*Car mechanics tell you the truth.
*You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.
*The world is your urinal.
*Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
*You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too icky.
*Same work... more pay.
*Wrinkles add character.
*You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.
*Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.
*If you retain water, it's in a canteen.
*People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
*Princess Di's death was just another obituary.
*The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
*New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
*Porn movies are designed with you in mind.
*Not liking a person does not preclude having great sex with them.
*Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So, notice anything different?"
*One mood, all the time
*Your orgasms are real. Always.
*Your last name stays put.
*The garage is all yours.
*Nobody secretly wonders if you swallow.
*Wedding plans take care of themselves.
*You don't have to curl up next to a hairy ass every night (ex wives don't count).
*Chocolate is just another snack.
*You can be president.
*You can wear a white shirt to a water park.
*Foreplay is optional.
*You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.
*Car mechanics tell you the truth.
*You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.
*The world is your urinal.
*Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
*You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too icky.
*Same work... more pay.
*Wrinkles add character.
*You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.
*Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.
*If you retain water, it's in a canteen.
*People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
*Princess Di's death was just another obituary.
*The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
*New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
*Porn movies are designed with you in mind.
*Not liking a person does not preclude having great sex with them.
*Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So, notice anything different?"
*One mood, all the time
