Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way".
Ask people to prove everything they say. (e.g. "I'm Bob, nice to meet you..." "PROVE IT!")
Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."
At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
Before exiting the elevator, push all the buttons.
Call every pager number you know and leave the number for your local McDonalds.
Call other people "Champ" or "Tiger.". Refer to yourself as "Coach."
Call someone and ask for someone that you know is not there then hang up. Call again about a half hour latter and ask for the same person then hang up again. Wait another half hour and call again and ask for that person again and then hang up again and wait a hour and call the same number and say that you are the person that you have been calling for and ask if you had any messages.
Call the operator. When asked, "Can I help you?" reply, "No thanks, just browsing."
Change Channels five minutes before the end of every show.
Change your name to "John Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."
Close your eyes and start snoring whenever anyone tries to talk to you.
Continuously open your briefcase or bag and say into it, "Have you got enough air in there?"
Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace."
Decline to be seated at a restaurant and simply eat their complimentary mints at the cash register.
Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers' brains, such as "Feliz Navidad," the Archies' "Sugar," or the Mr. Rogers theme song.
Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.
Eat out with friends and "forget" your wallet.
Every time someone asks you to do something or says something to you ask "Is that a threat?"
Every time someone asks you to do something, ask them if they want fries with that.
Every time someone asks you to do something, ask them to sign a waiver.
Every time you see a particular coworker, shout, "So we meet again!" and laugh evilly.
Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol.
Ask people to prove everything they say. (e.g. "I'm Bob, nice to meet you..." "PROVE IT!")
Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."
At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
Before exiting the elevator, push all the buttons.
Call every pager number you know and leave the number for your local McDonalds.
Call other people "Champ" or "Tiger.". Refer to yourself as "Coach."
Call someone and ask for someone that you know is not there then hang up. Call again about a half hour latter and ask for the same person then hang up again. Wait another half hour and call again and ask for that person again and then hang up again and wait a hour and call the same number and say that you are the person that you have been calling for and ask if you had any messages.
Call the operator. When asked, "Can I help you?" reply, "No thanks, just browsing."
Change Channels five minutes before the end of every show.
Change your name to "John Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."
Close your eyes and start snoring whenever anyone tries to talk to you.
Continuously open your briefcase or bag and say into it, "Have you got enough air in there?"
Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace."
Decline to be seated at a restaurant and simply eat their complimentary mints at the cash register.
Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers' brains, such as "Feliz Navidad," the Archies' "Sugar," or the Mr. Rogers theme song.
Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.
Eat out with friends and "forget" your wallet.
Every time someone asks you to do something or says something to you ask "Is that a threat?"
Every time someone asks you to do something, ask them if they want fries with that.
Every time someone asks you to do something, ask them to sign a waiver.
Every time you see a particular coworker, shout, "So we meet again!" and laugh evilly.
Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol.