I need your help everyone its a girl relationship problem... I have to post it here..
- Thread starter jcz1987
- Start date
![[;)]](/images/smilies/wink.png "Wink [;)]")
You know, Im going to go do that tonight. Im going to see the new movie tonight V for Vandetta and Im going to go see it with two girls that I know from my swimming team. My dad is out of town for the night and weekenbd so yeah, house to myself. Im going to take the M5 tonight. w00t. Going to to find her and her bf on the road and then get next to them and cruise. Then accelerate like crazy. LOL well last night she pissed me off. I was about to log off AIM and then she goes and messages me. Im so furious at her. She tried putting her ways over me. Shes become selfish and she calls me immature. Heres the convo to prove it all. Sorry its long... shes really making me angry and sad. But Im getting over her
elhaffa (9:32:47 PM) hey justin
jcz1987 (9:35:58 PM): hi
elhaffa (9:36:19 PM): umm, yeah...we havent talked in a while..but uh..how are things?
jcz1987 (9:36:33 PM): what do u think...
jcz1987 (9:37:22 PM): what do u think...
elhaffa (9:38:01 PM): ok, nvrm..stupid question
jcz1987 (9:38:06 PM): pff
elhaffa (9:38:25 PM): umm, im sorry. i dont want to be on bad terms.
jcz1987 (9:38:29 PM): ...
elhaffa (9:38:45 PM): i dont know what to say
jcz1987 (9:38:57 PM): u know
elhaffa (9:39:27 PM): do i?
elhaffa (9:41:49 PM): im not sure..i mean, i know i acted wrongly towards u..and i am sorry. i cant stand seeing u glare at me everytime we pass in the hall..and the sad blogs..i never wanted to hurt you..and i dont know if you can stand being my friend..that is probably too much to ask for..but i dont hate you at all, i am not mad at you at all anymore.
jcz1987 (9:42:18 PM): u see you were mad at me and I didnt do ANYTHING
elhaffa (9:43:31 PM): besides talk crap about my best friend..?
jcz1987 (9:43:39 PM): I never did
elhaffa (9:43:52 PM): i thought u already admitted it?
jcz1987 (9:43:59 PM): I never admitted anything
elhaffa (9:44:37 PM): ok, you know what? i will believe you then. i already said i wasnt mad about it anymore anyway even if it had happened like i thought
jcz1987 (9:44:58 PM): you are angry I know it
elhaffa (9:45:05 PM): no, im not
jcz1987 (9:45:11 PM): your hiding it
elhaffa (9:45:40 PM): no...cant you believe me when i say something? im not gonna lie about that..if i was mad i wouldnt be tlakign to you now
jcz1987 (9:46:07 PM): your jsut trying to settle things so they go your way as always
elhaffa (9:46:20 PM): things dont always go my way..
elhaffa (9:46:31 PM): but yes, i do want to settle things. for both of our sakes
jcz1987 (9:47:44 PM): ....
elhaffa (9:47:52 PM): so you DONT want to settle things? 0_o
jcz1987 (9:48:01 PM): you dont realize how much damage you did
elhaffa (9:48:07 PM): its only gonna hurt you more
elhaffa (9:50:16 PM): i guess not (although i have had my heart broken too...and even though im happy where i am it still kinda hurts) but i do realize that there was some damage..and i feel guilty. im trying to right my wrong........
jcz1987 (9:50:44 PM): yeah by needing someone?
jcz1987 (9:50:52 PM): pff
elhaffa (9:51:35 PM): what do u mean, by needing someone?
jcz1987 (9:51:40 PM): pfff....
jcz1987 (9:51:46 PM): think ok?
elhaffa (9:51:52 PM): im sorry, i didnt get that part
jcz1987 (9:52:06 PM): the fact you need someone to be happy....
elhaffa (9:55:48 PM): i know that you are just saying that to try to hurt me..but i KNOW that i dont need anyone insidxe my heart..i have been happy before when i didtn have anyone..not saying that i dont need anyone..i need my friends more than anyone..
jcz1987 (9:56:30 PM): Im not even trying to hurt you where in the hell did you get that thinking?
elhaffa (9:57:44 PM): it reminds me of that day u told me how paul was saying i had "So many boyfriends" or some crap...u had no idea how badly that hurt me..it was not good stategy on your part either..but w.e. im over caring what others think. even him.
jcz1987 (9:58:39 PM): your bringing up something that doesnt even go into what you really are talikng about
jcz1987 (9:58:54 PM): your bringing up something that doesnt evne what your trying to discuss
elhaffa (9:59:16 PM): yes it does.
elhaffa (9:59:23 PM): you said that i "need someone"
elhaffa (9:59:32 PM): and that implyes that i need a guy in my life
elhaffa (9:59:47 PM): and that implyes that i woudl have lots of boyfriends
elhaffa (9:59:52 PM): right?
jcz1987 (9:59:56 PM): soo?
elhaffa (10:00:01 PM): or please explain then
jcz1987 (10:00:41 PM): you just need to think I dotn know how something I said would hurt you at all. thats jsut sad
jcz1987 (10:01:17 PM): i cant believe a rumor can easily get to you
jcz1987 (10:01:26 PM): when you know its not even true
elhaffa (10:01:39 PM): well, im not sure if i let you knwo at the time..but that really really did get to me...so its not true???
elhaffa (10:01:51 PM): now im hecka confused
elhaffa (10:02:03 PM): why in the world would u make up a rumour like that?
jcz1987 (10:02:18 PM): I NEVER DID!!!!!
elhaffa (10:02:23 PM): i mean, what were u trying to do? or did u think that would somehow make me like u more?
jcz1987 (10:02:29 PM): NOOOO!!!!!!!
elhaffa (10:02:31 PM): well..u told me u heard him say it
elhaffa (10:02:33 PM): so then...?
jcz1987 (10:03:00 PM): listen ok?
elhaffa (10:03:05 PM): ok
jcz1987 (10:04:00 PM): the fact is you know rumors go around about you... I told you something that came straight out of Paul's mouth. It wasnt something I made up. Its the fact taht YOU in general care too damn much about what others think.
elhaffa (10:05:49 PM): i never denied that i cared. ILL ADMITT it is one of my biggest darn faults..but still, i thought that u knew that. and i cant understand why u would tell me anyway even if u had heard that..
jcz1987 (10:06:14 PM): heard about what?
elhaffa (10:06:38 PM): the thing paul said.
jcz1987 (10:07:00 PM): because during htat tinme I knew you wenr over Paul
jcz1987 (10:07:05 PM): wernt*
jcz1987 (10:07:12 PM): I knew it hurt alot
elhaffa (10:07:16 PM): exactly..meanign it would hurt more..?
jcz1987 (10:07:32 PM): but I was jsut being honest of what he said
elhaffa (10:07:33 PM): then why in the hell..i mean..so, u wanted to hurt me?
jcz1987 (10:07:43 PM): NO I NEVER WANTED TO HURT YOU!!!!!!!
jcz1987 (10:07:55 PM): I dont think you understand...
elhaffa (10:08:10 PM): sometimes there is a difference between beign honest..and just not offering info that the person doent want to or need to hear
jcz1987 (10:08:24 PM): I didnt know you didnt want to hear that
jcz1987 (10:08:35 PM): you always talked all about hte neagatives of what paul did
jcz1987 (10:08:37 PM): sheesh
elhaffa (10:09:00 PM): so did u think it would help me get over him then?
jcz1987 (10:09:00 PM): so you didnt like me becasue of this?
elhaffa (10:09:10 PM): umm..it was one of the main reasons yes
jcz1987 (10:09:13 PM): pffff
jcz1987 (10:09:21 PM): that is really sad
jcz1987 (10:09:24 PM): Im sorry but it is
elhaffa (10:10:15 PM): not the only of course, but umm..idk. it really got to me...and its like..i was STILL not over him because of it..instead it made me not want to be wiht you..because that would be playing into EXACTLY what he said about me going for any guy that liked me..
jcz1987 (10:10:37 PM): uhm thats sad....
elhaffa (10:10:53 PM): no, its not. he hadnt been the only one to tell me that either.
jcz1987 (10:10:58 PM): so you pretty much will listen to them and wont let where your heart desires...
elhaffa (10:11:24 PM): that was liek icing on the cake when it came straight form the mouth og the one i was in love wiht
jcz1987 (10:11:51 PM): so you wouldnt give me a chance becuase you believe rumors or what others say....* sigh*
elhaffa (10:11:51 PM): well, if i HAD been like in love wiht u..obviously it wouldnt matter
elhaffa (10:12:14 PM): i dont think u get it justin, i DID give u a chance
jcz1987 (10:12:31 PM): so now your saying we had a relationship?
elhaffa (10:14:11 PM): no, not an official one..but i did hang out wiht you long enough in romantic types of situations to try to tell if u were right for me...as far as what u wrote in one of your blogs about me never giving..let me try to explain..we werent in a relationship..if we had been, i would have done a LOT more giving...
jcz1987 (10:14:37 PM): ....
elhaffa (10:14:54 PM): ?
jcz1987 (10:14:57 PM): you cant say you would
elhaffa (10:15:11 PM): what do u mean?
jcz1987 (10:15:23 PM): that you would have done a lot more giving
elhaffa (10:16:04 PM): i can say that, i know myself..i know how i act wiht spencer..i would have..but i never felt like we were in a relationship.
jcz1987 (10:16:26 PM): ....sad....
jcz1987 (10:16:37 PM): well to you it wasnt....
jcz1987 (10:16:39 PM): fine...
elhaffa (10:17:39 PM): well, nto saying it wasnt anything. im just saying..idk..its like i never said yes when u asked me out..did i?
jcz1987 (10:17:59 PM): but you showed feelings that was the thing....
jcz1987 (10:18:04 PM): so it felt like it
elhaffa (10:18:08 PM): how?
jcz1987 (10:18:13 PM): o cmon........
elhaffa (10:18:24 PM): by kissing u?
jcz1987 (10:18:39 PM): not only taht other things
elhaffa (10:18:52 PM): like..?
elhaffa (10:19:08 PM): before i answer im curious what u are referring to..
jcz1987 (10:19:12 PM): uhm..... holding hands.... in the theater...
jcz1987 (10:20:02 PM): and a few other things too
elhaffa (10:21:17 PM): well, as far as that goes..i thought i might have been starting to like u like that at that point..and so i was just trying to see how it felt..for me a kiss can be a dealbreaker or maker.
jcz1987 (10:21:48 PM): ...sad....
elhaffa (10:22:21 PM): im trying to be honest justin. its difficult when u tell me constantly how sad i am.
jcz1987 (10:22:46 PM): Im the one who is hurt the most
elhaffa (10:23:36 PM): i understand that..and i am trying to explain things to you from my perspective so that maybe u wont be as hurt anymore..
jcz1987 (10:24:26 PM): you jsut make it worse...
jcz1987 (10:24:40 PM): you dont realize your actions caused this
elhaffa (10:25:09 PM): i do realize now..but no, i didnt realize at the time..
jcz1987 (10:25:29 PM): and thats why you should think before doing somehting
elhaffa (10:26:23 PM): well, i didnt realize HOW much u really liked me..i guess i assumed it was one of those fleeting high shcool crushes that goes away as quickly as it comes..
elhaffa (10:26:52 PM): its hard for me to understand when pple like me..its really hard to imagine when i barely like myself.
elhaffa (10:29:54 PM): no comment?
jcz1987 (10:30:14 PM): you never realize how much.... I care....
jcz1987 (10:30:53 PM): how I really care for the ones I that I...... love.....
jcz1987 (10:32:57 PM): *sigh*
elhaffa (10:33:17 PM): ill take that as a no..
elhaffa (10:33:30 PM): umm, im trying to think of what else i wanted to tell u
elhaffa (10:34:01 PM): and i cant remember now
elhaffa (10:34:02 PM): *sigh*
elhaffa (10:34:23 PM): i dont feel much closure. :/ idk bout u?
jcz1987 (10:34:54 PM): ...
elhaffa (10:35:01 PM): im not sure how to make that exactly though
jcz1987 (10:35:26 PM): you jsut never realized how much.... I care....
elhaffa (10:36:00 PM): do you not want closure? its your choice if you want to be sad and torn up..i cant imagine wanting that personally but..
elhaffa (10:36:04 PM): idk
jcz1987 (10:36:47 PM): a closure about?
jcz1987 (10:37:19 PM): you just picked a worng time to talk
elhaffa (10:39:15 PM): well, it is pretty darn hard to approach u sometimes. it is much easier for me not to at all
elhaffa (10:39:55 PM): and no..i didnt realize..but im not sure what to do about that now.
jcz1987 (10:40:34 PM): *sigh* im really tired and its not right time to talk....
jcz1987 (10:40:44 PM): Ive been hurt so much after this
elhaffa (10:40:59 PM): ok, well i kinda gtg go anyway
elhaffa (10:41:15 PM): so..uhh..if u want to talk later then..yeah..
elhaffa (10:41:24 PM): but uh, goodnight?
jcz1987 (10:41:53 PM): fine u have good night and be happy with everything you have now since you are and Im not
elhaffa (10:42:33 PM): im sorry, but i am happy. i wish you the same...hey...mayeb i can try to play matchmaker..eh?
jcz1987 (10:43:04 PM): .....
elhaffa (10:43:26 PM): ok, nvrm..bad idea apparently. it was just a thought..so that i could try to make u happier.
elhaffa (10:43:41 PM): well, goodnight then
elhaffa (10:43:43 PM): ill ttyl
elhaffa (10:43:49 PM): sweet dreams..
jcz1987 (10:44:11 PM): fine I havent slept well for the past two moths now
jcz1987 (10:44:34 PM): and have bad dreams becasue of this
elhaffa (10:44:46 PM): *puts hand to forehead*
elhaffa (10:44:49 PM): umm
elhaffa (10:45:07 PM): :-(
jcz1987 (10:45:09 PM): be happy good night
elhaffa (10:45:19 PM): you too! ok?
jcz1987 (10:45:26 PM): if I'l lever be
elhaffa (10:45:37 PM): its hard for me to be happy when i think that someone is sad because of me
elhaffa (10:45:54 PM): yes, u will. i know it.
jcz1987 (10:46:04 PM): pffff
elhaffa (10:46:14 PM): thats not the way to think if u want to be happy
jcz1987 (10:46:30 PM): uhm you try living through what I had to go through
jcz1987 (10:46:39 PM): you think your life is so unhappy...
jcz1987 (10:47:24 PM): emotionally Im not the same and it will take a very long time to be happy.... and I dont think I'l lbe happy after all this
elhaffa (10:47:27 PM): i dont anymore. but i dont think that you shoudl compare our individual unhappy situations. becuase there is more to mine than u know
elhaffa (10:48:32 PM): i think that u can...i thought i would never be happy eihter..but it is possible
jcz1987 (10:48:57 PM): yeah after you basically took away my happiness
jcz1987 (10:49:22 PM): and now your the one who became happy and tore me up and went with someone else
elhaffa (10:51:19 PM): im guilty. i am sorry. and i apologize a thousand times..but u need to think about thigns differently if u really want to be happy..idk. try thinking about it like things happen for a reason..i mean..if u are already hurt so much..how much would it hurt if things had lasted all the way till u had to go to college next year? think how much more it owuld hurt then.
jcz1987 (10:52:31 PM): thats jsut a prediction
jcz1987 (10:52:38 PM): we wouldnt know what would happen...
elhaffa (10:53:02 PM): i can only guess, but you r right i suppose.
jcz1987 (10:53:08 PM): until you went out and now look what you did...
jcz1987 (10:53:29 PM): a heart is now destroyed
jcz1987 (10:53:38 PM): u may find me to be immature at this point but over all its you who has to learn much more BIG time
elhaffa (10:54:07 PM): maybe i already have learned
elhaffa (10:54:11 PM): form this
elhaffa (10:54:14 PM): *from
jcz1987 (10:54:20 PM): I dont think you ahve
jcz1987 (10:54:28 PM): your actionbs dont show it
jcz1987 (10:54:38 PM): actions speaks much louder than words do
elhaffa (10:54:45 PM): and yes, i do think that u are acting immaturely..it almost makes me wonder if its worth trying to reconcile things..
elhaffa (10:55:09 PM): but, look. i AM trying to do the right thing and act maturely
elhaffa (10:55:38 PM): and what about if i end up beign wiht spencer a loong time? doesnt that somewhat make thigns better>
jcz1987 (10:56:01 PM): only for you two
jcz1987 (10:56:14 PM): its sad you find me to be immature
elhaffa (10:56:28 PM): not only for us, for my actions.
elhaffa (10:56:41 PM): which also speak louder than words
elhaffa (10:56:49 PM): i dont think that u are immature
elhaffa (10:56:59 PM): i thinkt hat u are ACTING immaturely right now
jcz1987 (10:57:06 PM): you just siad Im acting immature
jcz1987 (10:57:20 PM): because I have every right to feel hurt
elhaffa (10:57:29 PM): yeah, that means right now. it doenst label you that way forver or mean that u were always that way
elhaffa (10:58:11 PM): i just dont understand why you care if i am wiht spencer at this point..its not like we were even "together" anymore or barely talking
jcz1987 (10:58:28 PM): becasue you tore me apart
jcz1987 (10:58:31 PM): big time
elhaffa (10:59:55 PM): but, did u ever tell u anythign that i hated about u? .u know what, i am done trying to defend my actuions..it is not going to get us anywhere i can tell..so just know that i had my reasons for everything..and no they werent cruel.
jcz1987 (11:00:09 PM): as long your happy with him fine but you ahve to realzie that he was stubborn towards me about it all and Im now really tired of you talking to me you did this on purpose to hurt me more... you know Im not over it...
elhaffa (11:00:43 PM): omg, im not trying to hurt you! im trying to make it better!!
elhaffa (11:00:48 PM): but..as far as spence3r goes..
elhaffa (11:01:49 PM): im really not sure what u guys tlaked about..he woudlnt tell me because he is good to his word i guess..but..i was under the impression that the reason he made me wait three weeks is that he wanted your permission first.
elhaffa (11:01:56 PM): so im not sure how that is stubburn exactly?
jcz1987 (11:02:18 PM): when he was talking with me about it
elhaffa (11:02:26 PM): oh
elhaffa (11:02:32 PM): how did he act?
jcz1987 (11:02:37 PM): DUH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
elhaffa (11:02:38 PM): or what did he say?
jcz1987 (11:02:40 PM): STUBBORN!!!
elhaffa (11:02:56 PM): oh...thats kinda how he is though..*shrug* in everything
elhaffa (11:03:39 PM): but i mean...doesnt that mean that he does like me? despite the fact that he didnt want to hurt his friend
elhaffa (11:04:08 PM): (spencer is not very good at communicating to me btw so im really not even sure of these thigns(
elhaffa (11:04:09 PM): )
jcz1987 (11:04:29 PM): w/e
jcz1987 (11:04:37 PM): Im really tired
elhaffa (11:04:42 PM): me too
jcz1987 (11:04:47 PM): Ive been really stressed out becasue of you
jcz1987 (11:05:03 PM): Im jsut sad and hurt
jcz1987 (11:05:13 PM): and think if me all negative but fine
jcz1987 (11:05:18 PM): you jsut to do alot of thinking
elhaffa (11:05:45 PM): u think that i havent thought about this a lot? because i have.
jcz1987 (11:05:51 PM): ...
elhaffa (11:05:52 PM): and i still will
jcz1987 (11:06:02 PM): doesnt seem like it
jcz1987 (11:06:13 PM): you jsut never saw that I care........
jcz1987 (11:06:28 PM): and have actual feelings true feelings
jcz1987 (11:06:44 PM): that go further than jsut a crush
elhaffa (11:06:47 PM): im not saying in an "oh i really want to be wiht justin" kinda way..but in an "i do care about him and i feel badly but idk what to do to help"
elhaffa (11:07:33 PM): well, goodnight..my mom is yelling at me to go to bed
elhaffa (11:07:39 PM): im sorry
jcz1987 (11:07:47 PM): go to bed....
elhaffa (11:07:52 PM): u too..
“elhaffa” signed off at 11:07:56 PM.
jcz1987 (11:08:00 PM): if I can even sleep
elhaffa (9:32:47 PM) hey justin
jcz1987 (9:35:58 PM): hi
elhaffa (9:36:19 PM): umm, yeah...we havent talked in a while..but uh..how are things?
jcz1987 (9:36:33 PM): what do u think...
jcz1987 (9:37:22 PM): what do u think...
elhaffa (9:38:01 PM): ok, nvrm..stupid question
jcz1987 (9:38:06 PM): pff
elhaffa (9:38:25 PM): umm, im sorry. i dont want to be on bad terms.
jcz1987 (9:38:29 PM): ...
elhaffa (9:38:45 PM): i dont know what to say
jcz1987 (9:38:57 PM): u know
elhaffa (9:39:27 PM): do i?
elhaffa (9:41:49 PM): im not sure..i mean, i know i acted wrongly towards u..and i am sorry. i cant stand seeing u glare at me everytime we pass in the hall..and the sad blogs..i never wanted to hurt you..and i dont know if you can stand being my friend..that is probably too much to ask for..but i dont hate you at all, i am not mad at you at all anymore.
jcz1987 (9:42:18 PM): u see you were mad at me and I didnt do ANYTHING
elhaffa (9:43:31 PM): besides talk crap about my best friend..?
jcz1987 (9:43:39 PM): I never did
elhaffa (9:43:52 PM): i thought u already admitted it?
jcz1987 (9:43:59 PM): I never admitted anything
elhaffa (9:44:37 PM): ok, you know what? i will believe you then. i already said i wasnt mad about it anymore anyway even if it had happened like i thought
jcz1987 (9:44:58 PM): you are angry I know it
elhaffa (9:45:05 PM): no, im not
jcz1987 (9:45:11 PM): your hiding it
elhaffa (9:45:40 PM): no...cant you believe me when i say something? im not gonna lie about that..if i was mad i wouldnt be tlakign to you now
jcz1987 (9:46:07 PM): your jsut trying to settle things so they go your way as always
elhaffa (9:46:20 PM): things dont always go my way..
elhaffa (9:46:31 PM): but yes, i do want to settle things. for both of our sakes
jcz1987 (9:47:44 PM): ....
elhaffa (9:47:52 PM): so you DONT want to settle things? 0_o
jcz1987 (9:48:01 PM): you dont realize how much damage you did
elhaffa (9:48:07 PM): its only gonna hurt you more
elhaffa (9:50:16 PM): i guess not (although i have had my heart broken too...and even though im happy where i am it still kinda hurts) but i do realize that there was some damage..and i feel guilty. im trying to right my wrong........
jcz1987 (9:50:44 PM): yeah by needing someone?
jcz1987 (9:50:52 PM): pff
elhaffa (9:51:35 PM): what do u mean, by needing someone?
jcz1987 (9:51:40 PM): pfff....
jcz1987 (9:51:46 PM): think ok?
elhaffa (9:51:52 PM): im sorry, i didnt get that part
jcz1987 (9:52:06 PM): the fact you need someone to be happy....
elhaffa (9:55:48 PM): i know that you are just saying that to try to hurt me..but i KNOW that i dont need anyone insidxe my heart..i have been happy before when i didtn have anyone..not saying that i dont need anyone..i need my friends more than anyone..
jcz1987 (9:56:30 PM): Im not even trying to hurt you where in the hell did you get that thinking?
elhaffa (9:57:44 PM): it reminds me of that day u told me how paul was saying i had "So many boyfriends" or some crap...u had no idea how badly that hurt me..it was not good stategy on your part either..but w.e. im over caring what others think. even him.
jcz1987 (9:58:39 PM): your bringing up something that doesnt even go into what you really are talikng about
jcz1987 (9:58:54 PM): your bringing up something that doesnt evne what your trying to discuss
elhaffa (9:59:16 PM): yes it does.
elhaffa (9:59:23 PM): you said that i "need someone"
elhaffa (9:59:32 PM): and that implyes that i need a guy in my life
elhaffa (9:59:47 PM): and that implyes that i woudl have lots of boyfriends
elhaffa (9:59:52 PM): right?
jcz1987 (9:59:56 PM): soo?
elhaffa (10:00:01 PM): or please explain then
jcz1987 (10:00:41 PM): you just need to think I dotn know how something I said would hurt you at all. thats jsut sad
jcz1987 (10:01:17 PM): i cant believe a rumor can easily get to you
jcz1987 (10:01:26 PM): when you know its not even true
elhaffa (10:01:39 PM): well, im not sure if i let you knwo at the time..but that really really did get to me...so its not true???
elhaffa (10:01:51 PM): now im hecka confused
elhaffa (10:02:03 PM): why in the world would u make up a rumour like that?
jcz1987 (10:02:18 PM): I NEVER DID!!!!!
elhaffa (10:02:23 PM): i mean, what were u trying to do? or did u think that would somehow make me like u more?
jcz1987 (10:02:29 PM): NOOOO!!!!!!!
elhaffa (10:02:31 PM): well..u told me u heard him say it
elhaffa (10:02:33 PM): so then...?
jcz1987 (10:03:00 PM): listen ok?
elhaffa (10:03:05 PM): ok
jcz1987 (10:04:00 PM): the fact is you know rumors go around about you... I told you something that came straight out of Paul's mouth. It wasnt something I made up. Its the fact taht YOU in general care too damn much about what others think.
elhaffa (10:05:49 PM): i never denied that i cared. ILL ADMITT it is one of my biggest darn faults..but still, i thought that u knew that. and i cant understand why u would tell me anyway even if u had heard that..
jcz1987 (10:06:14 PM): heard about what?
elhaffa (10:06:38 PM): the thing paul said.
jcz1987 (10:07:00 PM): because during htat tinme I knew you wenr over Paul
jcz1987 (10:07:05 PM): wernt*
jcz1987 (10:07:12 PM): I knew it hurt alot
elhaffa (10:07:16 PM): exactly..meanign it would hurt more..?
jcz1987 (10:07:32 PM): but I was jsut being honest of what he said
elhaffa (10:07:33 PM): then why in the hell..i mean..so, u wanted to hurt me?
jcz1987 (10:07:43 PM): NO I NEVER WANTED TO HURT YOU!!!!!!!
jcz1987 (10:07:55 PM): I dont think you understand...
elhaffa (10:08:10 PM): sometimes there is a difference between beign honest..and just not offering info that the person doent want to or need to hear
jcz1987 (10:08:24 PM): I didnt know you didnt want to hear that
jcz1987 (10:08:35 PM): you always talked all about hte neagatives of what paul did
jcz1987 (10:08:37 PM): sheesh
elhaffa (10:09:00 PM): so did u think it would help me get over him then?
jcz1987 (10:09:00 PM): so you didnt like me becasue of this?
elhaffa (10:09:10 PM): umm..it was one of the main reasons yes
jcz1987 (10:09:13 PM): pffff
jcz1987 (10:09:21 PM): that is really sad
jcz1987 (10:09:24 PM): Im sorry but it is
elhaffa (10:10:15 PM): not the only of course, but umm..idk. it really got to me...and its like..i was STILL not over him because of it..instead it made me not want to be wiht you..because that would be playing into EXACTLY what he said about me going for any guy that liked me..
jcz1987 (10:10:37 PM): uhm thats sad....
elhaffa (10:10:53 PM): no, its not. he hadnt been the only one to tell me that either.
jcz1987 (10:10:58 PM): so you pretty much will listen to them and wont let where your heart desires...
elhaffa (10:11:24 PM): that was liek icing on the cake when it came straight form the mouth og the one i was in love wiht
jcz1987 (10:11:51 PM): so you wouldnt give me a chance becuase you believe rumors or what others say....* sigh*
elhaffa (10:11:51 PM): well, if i HAD been like in love wiht u..obviously it wouldnt matter
elhaffa (10:12:14 PM): i dont think u get it justin, i DID give u a chance
jcz1987 (10:12:31 PM): so now your saying we had a relationship?
elhaffa (10:14:11 PM): no, not an official one..but i did hang out wiht you long enough in romantic types of situations to try to tell if u were right for me...as far as what u wrote in one of your blogs about me never giving..let me try to explain..we werent in a relationship..if we had been, i would have done a LOT more giving...
jcz1987 (10:14:37 PM): ....
elhaffa (10:14:54 PM): ?
jcz1987 (10:14:57 PM): you cant say you would
elhaffa (10:15:11 PM): what do u mean?
jcz1987 (10:15:23 PM): that you would have done a lot more giving
elhaffa (10:16:04 PM): i can say that, i know myself..i know how i act wiht spencer..i would have..but i never felt like we were in a relationship.
jcz1987 (10:16:26 PM): ....sad....
jcz1987 (10:16:37 PM): well to you it wasnt....
jcz1987 (10:16:39 PM): fine...
elhaffa (10:17:39 PM): well, nto saying it wasnt anything. im just saying..idk..its like i never said yes when u asked me out..did i?
jcz1987 (10:17:59 PM): but you showed feelings that was the thing....
jcz1987 (10:18:04 PM): so it felt like it
elhaffa (10:18:08 PM): how?
jcz1987 (10:18:13 PM): o cmon........
elhaffa (10:18:24 PM): by kissing u?
jcz1987 (10:18:39 PM): not only taht other things
elhaffa (10:18:52 PM): like..?
elhaffa (10:19:08 PM): before i answer im curious what u are referring to..
jcz1987 (10:19:12 PM): uhm..... holding hands.... in the theater...
jcz1987 (10:20:02 PM): and a few other things too
elhaffa (10:21:17 PM): well, as far as that goes..i thought i might have been starting to like u like that at that point..and so i was just trying to see how it felt..for me a kiss can be a dealbreaker or maker.
jcz1987 (10:21:48 PM): ...sad....
elhaffa (10:22:21 PM): im trying to be honest justin. its difficult when u tell me constantly how sad i am.
jcz1987 (10:22:46 PM): Im the one who is hurt the most
elhaffa (10:23:36 PM): i understand that..and i am trying to explain things to you from my perspective so that maybe u wont be as hurt anymore..
jcz1987 (10:24:26 PM): you jsut make it worse...
jcz1987 (10:24:40 PM): you dont realize your actions caused this
elhaffa (10:25:09 PM): i do realize now..but no, i didnt realize at the time..
jcz1987 (10:25:29 PM): and thats why you should think before doing somehting
elhaffa (10:26:23 PM): well, i didnt realize HOW much u really liked me..i guess i assumed it was one of those fleeting high shcool crushes that goes away as quickly as it comes..
elhaffa (10:26:52 PM): its hard for me to understand when pple like me..its really hard to imagine when i barely like myself.
elhaffa (10:29:54 PM): no comment?
jcz1987 (10:30:14 PM): you never realize how much.... I care....
jcz1987 (10:30:53 PM): how I really care for the ones I that I...... love.....
jcz1987 (10:32:57 PM): *sigh*
elhaffa (10:33:17 PM): ill take that as a no..
elhaffa (10:33:30 PM): umm, im trying to think of what else i wanted to tell u
elhaffa (10:34:01 PM): and i cant remember now
elhaffa (10:34:02 PM): *sigh*
elhaffa (10:34:23 PM): i dont feel much closure. :/ idk bout u?
jcz1987 (10:34:54 PM): ...
elhaffa (10:35:01 PM): im not sure how to make that exactly though
jcz1987 (10:35:26 PM): you jsut never realized how much.... I care....
elhaffa (10:36:00 PM): do you not want closure? its your choice if you want to be sad and torn up..i cant imagine wanting that personally but..
elhaffa (10:36:04 PM): idk
jcz1987 (10:36:47 PM): a closure about?
jcz1987 (10:37:19 PM): you just picked a worng time to talk
elhaffa (10:39:15 PM): well, it is pretty darn hard to approach u sometimes. it is much easier for me not to at all
elhaffa (10:39:55 PM): and no..i didnt realize..but im not sure what to do about that now.
jcz1987 (10:40:34 PM): *sigh* im really tired and its not right time to talk....
jcz1987 (10:40:44 PM): Ive been hurt so much after this
elhaffa (10:40:59 PM): ok, well i kinda gtg go anyway
elhaffa (10:41:15 PM): so..uhh..if u want to talk later then..yeah..
elhaffa (10:41:24 PM): but uh, goodnight?
jcz1987 (10:41:53 PM): fine u have good night and be happy with everything you have now since you are and Im not
elhaffa (10:42:33 PM): im sorry, but i am happy. i wish you the same...hey...mayeb i can try to play matchmaker..eh?
jcz1987 (10:43:04 PM): .....
elhaffa (10:43:26 PM): ok, nvrm..bad idea apparently. it was just a thought..so that i could try to make u happier.
elhaffa (10:43:41 PM): well, goodnight then
elhaffa (10:43:43 PM): ill ttyl
elhaffa (10:43:49 PM): sweet dreams..
jcz1987 (10:44:11 PM): fine I havent slept well for the past two moths now
jcz1987 (10:44:34 PM): and have bad dreams becasue of this
elhaffa (10:44:46 PM): *puts hand to forehead*
elhaffa (10:44:49 PM): umm
elhaffa (10:45:07 PM): :-(
jcz1987 (10:45:09 PM): be happy good night
elhaffa (10:45:19 PM): you too! ok?
jcz1987 (10:45:26 PM): if I'l lever be
elhaffa (10:45:37 PM): its hard for me to be happy when i think that someone is sad because of me
elhaffa (10:45:54 PM): yes, u will. i know it.
jcz1987 (10:46:04 PM): pffff
elhaffa (10:46:14 PM): thats not the way to think if u want to be happy
jcz1987 (10:46:30 PM): uhm you try living through what I had to go through
jcz1987 (10:46:39 PM): you think your life is so unhappy...
jcz1987 (10:47:24 PM): emotionally Im not the same and it will take a very long time to be happy.... and I dont think I'l lbe happy after all this
elhaffa (10:47:27 PM): i dont anymore. but i dont think that you shoudl compare our individual unhappy situations. becuase there is more to mine than u know
elhaffa (10:48:32 PM): i think that u can...i thought i would never be happy eihter..but it is possible
jcz1987 (10:48:57 PM): yeah after you basically took away my happiness
jcz1987 (10:49:22 PM): and now your the one who became happy and tore me up and went with someone else
elhaffa (10:51:19 PM): im guilty. i am sorry. and i apologize a thousand times..but u need to think about thigns differently if u really want to be happy..idk. try thinking about it like things happen for a reason..i mean..if u are already hurt so much..how much would it hurt if things had lasted all the way till u had to go to college next year? think how much more it owuld hurt then.
jcz1987 (10:52:31 PM): thats jsut a prediction
jcz1987 (10:52:38 PM): we wouldnt know what would happen...
elhaffa (10:53:02 PM): i can only guess, but you r right i suppose.
jcz1987 (10:53:08 PM): until you went out and now look what you did...
jcz1987 (10:53:29 PM): a heart is now destroyed
jcz1987 (10:53:38 PM): u may find me to be immature at this point but over all its you who has to learn much more BIG time
elhaffa (10:54:07 PM): maybe i already have learned
elhaffa (10:54:11 PM): form this
elhaffa (10:54:14 PM): *from
jcz1987 (10:54:20 PM): I dont think you ahve
jcz1987 (10:54:28 PM): your actionbs dont show it
jcz1987 (10:54:38 PM): actions speaks much louder than words do
elhaffa (10:54:45 PM): and yes, i do think that u are acting immaturely..it almost makes me wonder if its worth trying to reconcile things..
elhaffa (10:55:09 PM): but, look. i AM trying to do the right thing and act maturely
elhaffa (10:55:38 PM): and what about if i end up beign wiht spencer a loong time? doesnt that somewhat make thigns better>
jcz1987 (10:56:01 PM): only for you two
jcz1987 (10:56:14 PM): its sad you find me to be immature
elhaffa (10:56:28 PM): not only for us, for my actions.
elhaffa (10:56:41 PM): which also speak louder than words
elhaffa (10:56:49 PM): i dont think that u are immature
elhaffa (10:56:59 PM): i thinkt hat u are ACTING immaturely right now
jcz1987 (10:57:06 PM): you just siad Im acting immature
jcz1987 (10:57:20 PM): because I have every right to feel hurt
elhaffa (10:57:29 PM): yeah, that means right now. it doenst label you that way forver or mean that u were always that way
elhaffa (10:58:11 PM): i just dont understand why you care if i am wiht spencer at this point..its not like we were even "together" anymore or barely talking
jcz1987 (10:58:28 PM): becasue you tore me apart
jcz1987 (10:58:31 PM): big time
elhaffa (10:59:55 PM): but, did u ever tell u anythign that i hated about u? .u know what, i am done trying to defend my actuions..it is not going to get us anywhere i can tell..so just know that i had my reasons for everything..and no they werent cruel.
jcz1987 (11:00:09 PM): as long your happy with him fine but you ahve to realzie that he was stubborn towards me about it all and Im now really tired of you talking to me you did this on purpose to hurt me more... you know Im not over it...
elhaffa (11:00:43 PM): omg, im not trying to hurt you! im trying to make it better!!
elhaffa (11:00:48 PM): but..as far as spence3r goes..
elhaffa (11:01:49 PM): im really not sure what u guys tlaked about..he woudlnt tell me because he is good to his word i guess..but..i was under the impression that the reason he made me wait three weeks is that he wanted your permission first.
elhaffa (11:01:56 PM): so im not sure how that is stubburn exactly?
jcz1987 (11:02:18 PM): when he was talking with me about it
elhaffa (11:02:26 PM): oh
elhaffa (11:02:32 PM): how did he act?
jcz1987 (11:02:37 PM): DUH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
elhaffa (11:02:38 PM): or what did he say?
jcz1987 (11:02:40 PM): STUBBORN!!!
elhaffa (11:02:56 PM): oh...thats kinda how he is though..*shrug* in everything
elhaffa (11:03:39 PM): but i mean...doesnt that mean that he does like me? despite the fact that he didnt want to hurt his friend
elhaffa (11:04:08 PM): (spencer is not very good at communicating to me btw so im really not even sure of these thigns(
elhaffa (11:04:09 PM): )
jcz1987 (11:04:29 PM): w/e
jcz1987 (11:04:37 PM): Im really tired
elhaffa (11:04:42 PM): me too
jcz1987 (11:04:47 PM): Ive been really stressed out becasue of you
jcz1987 (11:05:03 PM): Im jsut sad and hurt
jcz1987 (11:05:13 PM): and think if me all negative but fine
jcz1987 (11:05:18 PM): you jsut to do alot of thinking
elhaffa (11:05:45 PM): u think that i havent thought about this a lot? because i have.
jcz1987 (11:05:51 PM): ...
elhaffa (11:05:52 PM): and i still will
jcz1987 (11:06:02 PM): doesnt seem like it
jcz1987 (11:06:13 PM): you jsut never saw that I care........
jcz1987 (11:06:28 PM): and have actual feelings true feelings
jcz1987 (11:06:44 PM): that go further than jsut a crush
elhaffa (11:06:47 PM): im not saying in an "oh i really want to be wiht justin" kinda way..but in an "i do care about him and i feel badly but idk what to do to help"
elhaffa (11:07:33 PM): well, goodnight..my mom is yelling at me to go to bed
elhaffa (11:07:39 PM): im sorry
jcz1987 (11:07:47 PM): go to bed....
elhaffa (11:07:52 PM): u too..
“elhaffa” signed off at 11:07:56 PM.
jcz1987 (11:08:00 PM): if I can even sleep
MyHarley said:
I didnt have that much discussion when I got divorced........... ![[scratch]](/images/smilies/icon_smile_headscratch.gif "Head Scratch [scratch]")
![[rofl]](/images/smilies/icon_smile_rofl.gif "ROFL [rofl]")
Lisha, I was thinking along the same lines. Bahaha.
Wow. That IM conversation was....intense. Sounds like something that should happened in person, rather than over a line (that may just be me though).
Justin, you're obviously going through alot of emotions. Don't do anything stupid because of it. And to be honest, judging on her statements, the MOST hurtful thing you could do to her is keep ignoring her. She was obviously fishing for you to compliment her on several occasions, and to hear you say 'how hurt' you are is probably being taken as a complient (id est, that she is so desireable that you were left in the state you were left in). Telling her off will vindicate her (in her mind), ignoring her will torture her; I'm reasonably sure of it.
But I gotta admit, reading that 'dialogue' did make me remember when I went through those days. And now, 4-5 years later, as I read your dialogue and remembered my relative experiences, I laughed wickedly. It becomes something that, once you put aside your emotions, that you can laugh about.
Take it easy,
Sean
*sigh* Children.......
You are BOTH acting very immaturely. It's EXTREMELY clear that neither of you know what a REAL relationship is. The simple fact that this conversation occured over AIM speaks worlds about you two.
The sooner you realize that this crap is not what real relationships are, the better. You two are throwing around the "love" word, and I can guarantee you that neither of you have a damn clue what real love in a true relationship is.
She hurt you. Fine. Get over it. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Get on with your life. Period.
You are BOTH acting very immaturely. It's EXTREMELY clear that neither of you know what a REAL relationship is. The simple fact that this conversation occured over AIM speaks worlds about you two.
The sooner you realize that this crap is not what real relationships are, the better. You two are throwing around the "love" word, and I can guarantee you that neither of you have a damn clue what real love in a true relationship is.
She hurt you. Fine. Get over it. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Get on with your life. Period.
Yeah, but for most people, it's hard to know what love is without going through some experience that is similar to the young jedi's. Love, like most powerful things, is in-and-itself grounded in experiencing many types before understanding what it is. Kind of like figuring out what kind of car is most comfortable for you; your first car is probably not going to be your last, and owning it helps you know what characteristics in a car you want and what you can live without.
Besides, based on that IM dialogue, do you really think either of them are going to realize it? Is there anything you, I, anyone else on this board, their parents, et cetera could say, or is something they need to realize on their own?
Guidance is all we can offer. "Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from a disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recylcing it for more than it's worth."
3 most replied to in no order... so yea, this thread won't ever come close to kirby's thread!
http://www.bmwboard.com/forum/showthread.php?t=2959
http://www.bmwboard.com/forum/showthread.php?t=348
http://www.bmwboard.com/forum/showthread.php?t=275
http://www.bmwboard.com/forum/showthread.php?t=2959
http://www.bmwboard.com/forum/showthread.php?t=348
http://www.bmwboard.com/forum/showthread.php?t=275
![[wiggle]](/images/smilies/icon_smile_wiggle.gif "Wiggle [wiggle]"){kind=icon}
seriously from experience...i went through somthing like that...with a ex boyfriend..please lifes way to short to be worried about some girl....Theres a milllion people out there..try to avoid her and make her think you could give a shit less if she lives or dies...Listen i no that sounds mean but honesty she might not show it she be thinking "wut the ***" trust me ive been there, instead of tryin to make her think by givin her pics make her think by showing no reaction...no reaction is the best way Take it First hand
This thread is DEAD.... I am so tired of it being rehashed.
Fact is you are never going to have a good relationship with this girl.. Even if you get back with her I predict you willl continue to make her pay passively.... Like that is fun for you or her, like any girl wants a mad daddy... lol
Please spare us!![[offtopic]](/images/smilies/icon_smile_offtopic.gif "Off Topic [offtopic]")
Fact is you are never going to have a good relationship with this girl.. Even if you get back with her I predict you willl continue to make her pay passively.... Like that is fun for you or her, like any girl wants a mad daddy... lol
Please spare us!
Oh, I agree with you 100%, Lisha. It just seems like Justin is having a very hard time letting this go, let alone grasping the fact that there doesn't seem like there was ever much of a relationship between the two of them to begin with. Add to this the fact that the members of this board have given our young grasshopper over 8 pages of excellent advice that he hasn't seemed to listen to. My point was to point out to him that while the two of them think that what they are experiencing is love in a true relationship, this is hardly the case. Of course he can only learn what real love is by either going through things like this himself or seeing his friends go through it. However, he also needs to be able to stand back and examine these failed "relationships" and learn from them. He needs to be able to do this and then move on - things that it doesn't seem to me like he's really doing.
Believe me, I know as well as anyone that relationships and love are something with which you have to continually evolve. I will have been in a relationship for 5 years this June and have been engaged for the last year and half. Even in my relationship, I am reminded fairly frequently that I still have alot to learn about being in a relationship with someone that you love.
Believe me, I know as well as anyone that relationships and love are something with which you have to continually evolve. I will have been in a relationship for 5 years this June and have been engaged for the last year and half. Even in my relationship, I am reminded fairly frequently that I still have alot to learn about being in a relationship with someone that you love.